We of the ACO are now releasing this special report to all colleagues of The Zero Recusancy. Delivered to the Advanced Concepts Office's drop box in an empty ketchup stained Burger King bag, with instructions to make them public, these Pumpboy Liberation Front (PbLF) demands were made available to us:

Initial Demands to the Management of the Realm of the Tooth

We demand that the Sacred Order of Attendants and Sales Associates be recognized and acknowledged as the lawful guild of the Turnpike Mobil's pumpboys.

We demand that Guinness, not Heineken, be the official workplace beverage.

We demand that the Tooth be required to purchase and use a new alarm clock and arrive at work on time.

We demand that the Realm of the Tooth fully acknowledge that former pumpboy Jared is in fact an heroic figure that enlighten many to the extensiveness of the dark conspiracies that work against the pumpboys of the Turnpike Mobil.

PbLF

END