Name: Jeff
Known Aliases: The Fat Kid, The Shadow, Bill Cooper, David Icke, Vince Clortho - Keymaster of Gozur
Catch Phrase(s): Damn, I'm hungry. Where the fuck is my turkey sub? I wish (insert any person here) was dead. I hate the clergy.
Department: Satirization Department of the Advanced Concepts Office of the TZR
Title(s): Head writer for the TZR, Mythology Specialist/Book Worm, CEO of The Chandala Association Online, Eliminator of Poultry/Snickers bars, Latin Translator.

Mission(s): To make fun of everyone and everything he sees up to and including himself, but especially Jared. Formerly a reconaissance agent at The Realm whose missions there were to anger the customers, make fun of agents of The Realm, to NOT plus sell, to smoke way too much, to complain in general, and to tell everyone, no matter which side of the resistance they're on, all the ridiculous lies Donald "Gummy Joe" Moore lets loose on the population. To resist the doctrines of The Tooth by way of satire, civil disobedience, and treating people (including the clergy and the mystery shopper) like shit.

Known Characteristics: The Fat Kid is known to be anxious and unable to work unless there is a turkey sub within three feet. Also, he has an insatiable urge to eat Snickers bars, and has been seen staking out the M&M/Mars Factory in Hackettstown, NJ, which he refers to as "the promised land." Also, the Fat Kid has quite a temper, and is known to have yelled at one priest, and at least one "mystery shopper," who he called a "cocksucker."

Intelligence briefing notes: Whenever the Fat Kid doesn't have his mouth full of chocolate covered turkey with nugat and peanuts, he can be seen buried in a book, inside of which are hidden pictures of lesbians. Sometimes he reads the actual text, but only sometimes. What this means, however, is that the fat kid's attention span is quite small, so he can't be counted on to do work of any kind, making him a poor agent of the resistance who cannot be trusted. Consequently, the resistance's loss of the fat kid is not a matter of importance, though he was kind of funny. Also, the Fat Kid is known to refer to himself in the third person when comunicating by way of electronic media, which is his between-Snickers-bars hobby. However, when his attention is focused in the workplace he is a potent force known to disregard nearly every Mobil protocol whether Tooth-related or otherwise, to abuse customers, to tie up the phone line by way of internet access, to convince Gummy Joe that he is catatonic, and convice Pam that he listens exclusively to bands associated with the devil.