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“We are here to demand the withdrawal of the occupying American army,” said one non-protester. “Nah, they’re with us really,” said Snow. “They say they want us gone, but really they like us there. Sometimes no does mean yes. They even promised to give us all of their oil when this war, er, police action thing blows over. Seriously, they’re going to give it to us in writing so it’ll be nice and legal. You just wait and see how it turns out," he said smirking.

“Yes, Saddam is gone,” said another protester, “but we have simply been taken over by another tyrant. Our people are being killed every day, and detainees are surreptitiously tortured by a different power. Essentially nothing has changed. We demand that American troops leave.”

Mr. Snow responded, saying, “Although he was speaking English, he really doesn’t speak it very well. I mean, surreptitiously? He's making up words. And what he meant to say, I’m sure, was that he loves his new freedom, and he was asking for one of those little tiny American flags that they stick in the ground at cemeteries. He likes them. He wants to wave one as the soldiers walk by. Seriously.” Reporters were too stunned to respond.

He further asserted that photographs showing huge numbers of people acting under the orders of Shiite religious guy Moktada al-Sadr were fakes that were doctored by the liberal media. Mr. Snow claimed “It was just, like, six or eight guys, and some of them had some beers and got a little loud. Big deal. That’s it. You know Fox News,” he said, “always playing up the democrat angle.”

Speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi, responded, saying, “Oh God, I don’t believe this,” and burying her head in her hands. Snow whispered that Madam Speaker’s response was typically female and that she was probably “riding the red wave.” “Am I right fellas?” he added.

President bush joined the chorus of liars and imbeciles, agreeing with Snow that there definitely was no protest. The Iraqi people simply enjoyed a day out. “The Iraqis, you see,” said the president, “like the outdoors. You know, they all have a good sun tan -- you seen 'em on television. I just wish they’d wear some sun block. You know, you get that skin cancer. ‘Specially in a place so hot as Iraq. But like I was saying, in Texas we can’t go outside, because they ain’t no air. But out there in the third world countries, people like to get some sun. It’s like a beach party. That’s why the American young people of the lowest income brackets are just flocking to the recruiting centers and joining the military. You know, the poor people, they can’t go to beach parties ‘cause they got to work as wait staff, leastways that’s what happens at my own beach parties. So we try to provide them with government sponsored beach parties like they had in Baghdad today. I do that for the working man. And plus -- get this -- the next thirty-one thousand people who sign up for active duty will get a free Army of One beach towel as my gift to you. And that’s sharp looking, ain’t it?” said the president, holding the towel up for the camera. “That’s like a, what do you call it, a iron-on, like they used to do with T-shirts at the mall. I got one of them with Bill the Cat on it. ‘Member him?”