The Shadow Reporting. . .
After having begged off as wacko-beat reporter for Bluezer0, opting instead for entertainment news, I noticed that the amount of pussy I got actually went down rather than up the way I expected.
So, I fired up the old Shadow ride and headed out in the dead of night at the behest of Bluezer0 founder and editor known simply as Decanus. Strange rumblings, he said, had been heard on the grounds of Buckalew Palace where he has been staying in the guest wing.
When I arrived all was calm and quiet, as things often are in that placid stretch of route forty, where one can barely hear the gun shots from across the highway. The D found me at the east wing, and began to explain. There had been odd sightings to the north, where people claimed that saucer-shaped ships were disappearing at the southern horizon. The reports were consistent -- around two AM they would spot the air ships which would sit hovering over bodies of water for nearly an hour, when they would rise up to just above the trees and disappear to the south.
Decanus had formulated a hypothesis that they were not really disappearing at the horizon, but that they were landing at a nearby location where they were storing their ship by day, and rising up again in the night to continue their ominous business at the water.
He had witnessed one of these sightings at nearby Becks Pond, so named because Becks is the brand of beer can found most often floating in it’s brown waters, and noticed that the ships disappeared seemingly right where he himself was staying. So, reverse engineering a sighting, he planned to stay home and watch the beings emerge from their hideout.
We went around the guest wing and stood near the grand entrance hall. He figured that if they were seen around two AM, they would need around 15 minutes to get to the pond, so prime time for a sighting was 1:45AM or roughly thereabouts.
We stood on the staircase to command a better view of the grounds, and had almost given up when suddenly there were some flashes of light. Decanus, ever-ready with the latest digital equipment, turned on the digicam and captured the attached video.
After the flashes, a being came out of the tool shed on the Buckalew estate. Everything went dead -- phones, lights, motor cars, and every single luxury. The street lights dimmed, flickered, and expired like so many candles during a storm. Decanus and I got down closer to the ground to see what was happening -- it was a “little gray.”
He flung open the doors of the shed, using his telekenesis, of course, and pulled his ship out. It was sleek and midnight blue and made of a strange metal. It was engraved with strangely familiar patterns and symbols, but none that was decipherable. When he cranked it up it sounded pretty good, like there was an eight cylinder engine in there, and like the exhaust was pretty well freed up.
He rolled the window down, and we saw the glowing red of a lit cigarette, and suddenly we could hear the old Deep Purple standard, Smoke on the Water’s opening chords, E A B E A B A. The craft rose up, hesitated a moment, and then jetted off to the north, where there was another sighting at Becks Pond.
Next! Interview with the Alien!
