The Fat Kid reporting. . .
WASHINGTON -- George W. Bush’s top political adviser, Karl Rove, was recalled to hell after serving an earthbound stint of 1300 years. After securing his place in history by stealing two presidential elections, and catalyzing the coming apocalypse, Rove found that his work for the Dark Lord was finished, and he was free to return to his master and be rewarded for having worked so hard.
”I love you, Karl.”
“High Priest Cheney will, I’m sure, keep America on this same failing track, serve the interests of the strong, and luxuriate in the blood of the weak. Heil Satan,” Rove said at the press conference.
Mr. Bush thanked the man who designed the greatest and most complex system of lies in the history of American politics, and was the main architect of two of the greatest instances of electoral fraud ever recorded. “He did all that shit,” the president said, “for my benefit.” The president then tipped his “Who Farted?” hat to Rove, and hugged him for an uncomfortable length of time, while the audience turned away from the embarrassing scene.
Asked how he would spend his time, Rove indicated that his intentions were to write a book, to teach, and to continue to exert a strong influence on American politics from the Dark Lord’s Realm Below by occasionally possessing Arabs with radioactive material, and hypnotizing the public into believing whatever silly shit the president says. “I’m sure he’ll do a fine job,” the president added.
Comments (1)
“Karl Rove, was recalled to hell after serving an earthbound stint of 1300 years.”
Didn’t you receive the fax regarding talking points to be used by all politicians and political reporters with souls under contract?
He wasn’t recalled, he was redeployed!
Posted by Mr. Mephistopheles | August 13, 2007 3:43 PM
Posted on August 13, 2007 15:43