A Decanus-Fat Kid Joint. . .
COLUMBUS -- As BlueZer0 staff and crew were settling into their spacious hobo camp-adjacent digs, several workers uncovered what turned out to be a Biaviian antigravity device on loan to the Buckalew estate.
The unpacking process being long and tedious, just today the strange-looking and obviously otherworldly device was discovered in the storage area.
The device was left in the old east wing before BlueZer0 opened up shop there, and when they were removing themselves it came along accidentally. The BZ wage slave responsible said, “So, it was just there by this pile of stuff, and that one dude said, ‘Yo, move that shit!’ So I moved it. And, um, now it’s here.”
After realizing that it did not belong to BZ owner/CEO Decanus, he contacted Buckalew, resulting in the following makeshift phone interview:
Buckalew: That hand truck isn’t mine, dick.
BZ: So, you’re saying it belongs to interstellar traveller/bus driver Tan? That makes sense. It’s clearly built of a crystalline alloy not of this earth. Can you tell us about the material?
Buckalew: Look, I stole it from work, and if they find out that it’s missing I’m going to get fired!
BZ: So, you’re saying it’s solid-state, fired carbon fiber?
Buckalew: I need it back. Seriously, you have to send it to me.
BZ: So, Tan and the rest of the Biaviians are expecting it back soon?
Buckalew: Be serious! I’m going to lose my job!
BZ: So, Tan and the Biaviians lent it to you under the condition that you didn’t let any other earthlings see it? That seems to make sense. It is far too advanced for us, and we’d clearly blow ourselves up with that kind of technology.
Buckalew: Look, I’m asking you nicely to mail it to me or something. Or maybe you can bring it back and come out for the weekend or something?
BZ: What do they need it for? There is no gravity in space. Or is it for when they are on their planet? Is it a particularly large planet with high gravity?
At this time the phone went dead.