A BZ Staff Article. . .
NEWARK -- Over the past several years Delaware has been the seat of BlueZer0, and it’s predecessor The Zero Recusancy, for strategic reasons. It was the long-time Earth location of The Realm of the Tooth, and home to our most important source of news, insider of the doom-sayer community and inveterate altered consciousness spokesperson, Jared Buckalew.
But things have changed. The Realm was destroyed by The Tooth’s own greed, and the canopy with all its lights came crashing down upon her, banishing her forever to that tiny fourth-dimensional Camden known as Elsmere, DE. Furthermore, Buckalew’s status as the doomsday crowd’s conduit to the everyman has diminished to the point that the most we can expect is the occasional letter from erstwhile avant-garde apocalypse theorist Riley Martin.
So, it is time for the BlueZer0 staff and crew to pack up and move somewhere things are happening. In light of the opening of The Shadow’s endlessly fascinating and altogether ingenious institute L’École Des Beaux-Lézards, which promises to be the center of events over at least the next year or so, we have decided on a location -- the Paris of the Rust Belt, Columbus, Ohio.
Jared, saying good-bye to his beloved BZ news team.
The Delaware offices of BlueZer0 will therefore be shutting down. BZ staff and crew will be packed, mobilized, and headed for Ohio by the 7th of September, where we plan to make the Columbus bureau the main installation, leaving the entire west wing of the Buckalew Compound as empty and cavernous as when we moved in.
We would have written a good-bye to Delaware, but mostly we’re just glad to get out of there, even though we’re headed to the heart of natural disaster-country. But The Shadow already wrote something like that, so we won’t waste any more time talking about it.
So, we say to you, au revoir, bon soir, bonne nuit, c’est la vie, je n’aime pas les Americanes and etc. See you in Columbus.
Comments (2)
Why Ohio? Why not just move to Texas or something.
Posted by Johnny H. | September 12, 2007 3:17 PM
Posted on September 12, 2007 15:17
Why not Texas? Obviously, you’ve been in the Lone Star state way too long and are suffering the effects of hypoxia! Here are some topics as to why not Texas: How about L.B. Johnson and Vietnam or Bush and Iraq or T.O. and them Cowboys? Have you ever suffered through a movie watching Ethan Hawke act? How about Lou Diamond Philips? Kris Kistofferson?!!! How can anyone forgive Texas for Kistofferson and his CB radio/trucker movie Convoy? What more proof do you need to believe the Fat Kid’s assertion regarding significantly lower levels of oxygen in Texan air? Please reach for your O2 bottle and inhale, deeply.
Posted by Pimples Malone | September 13, 2007 10:51 PM
Posted on September 13, 2007 22:51