The Fat Kid reporting. . .
COLUMBUS -- Having been busy with mad École des Beaux Lézards business, former Bluzer0 lead reporter The Shadow hasn’t checked in for several months. But, being pissed over the missed ghost story opportunity, he has decided to show up post-Halloween and set up a trap for whatever ghosts there may be haunting Chåtéåü Clîntønvîllé.
I caught up with The Shadow one night as he was drunk and stumbling about the parking lot of that very Chåtéåü, and asked him a few questions.
BZ: What are you doing here?
TS: I’m staking out the ghost.
BZ: Aren’t you busy with school things?
TS: As head of the Department of Supernatural Studies, this is school stuff. I have received a half-assed report of ghostly happenings here at the Chåtéåü, and I intend to investigate.
BZ: What are you going to do?
TS: Well, I spent the tuition of the first year students on Mexican beer and Cheech and Chong CDs, but with the change I got back from the last Cheech and Chong CD, I’m renting out the very apartment where the dead man was found, and plan on conducting seances and experiments to show conclusively whether there’s a ghost at Chåtéåü Clîntønvîllé.
BZ: Well, if you’re listening to Cheech and Chong, shouldn’t you be smoking weed?
TS: Do I look like I can afford weed? Mexican beer is the way to go when you’re economizing. You can shop around, but you can't beat 69¢ per liter.
BZ: So, you said you were head of the Department of Supernatural Studies. Is that a new department at L’École des Beaux Lézards?
TS: All departments at L’École des Beaux Lézards are new. And I am head of all departments. And other slightly surprising blanket statements as well.
BZ: So, when can we expect to see the results of your study?
TS: I’mna post it myself to BZ, you know to cut out the middle man.
BZ: Great. Less work.
