Horrified by the possibility of angry lightning bolts from on high and their souls doomed to spend eternity in Hell, Hades or the kiosk at the ol’ Realm, a shadowless BlueZer0 staff sought out help from the local clergy. The Shadow’s grinchness and heresy posted on BZ in the form of a xmas message had to be renounced and exorcised and the BZ staff’s hearts and minds purified before it was too late and the wrath of God or the gods was unleashed.
Desperately, a phone call was made to the concierge’s desk and quickly it was transferred to the Chateau Clintonville’s resident man of the cloth. Although he was very hungover from wild Christmas eve partying at the Chevy van’s Christmas tailgate and dumpster dive, Father Eugene understood the seriousness of the matter and suggested everyone meet at the Chateau’s chapel/laundry room.
Here is a partial transcript of the chapel meeting:
FE: Welcome sinners, welcome to God’s house on this Christmas Day's night.
Laundry room vagrant # 1: Uh, Father, is like the beer and pizza for everyone?
Laundry room vagrant #2: Pizza delivered on Christmas, jesus, what’s the fucking world coming too?
FE: Help yourself my son. God loves all of his children.
BZ staffer #1: Hey Padre can we get on with it? You know my soul is in danger here. Thanks to that god hating bastard. I mean, you know, how can we be sure God won’t come down on us because we, uh, work with that godless fucker?
FE: Be calm my son. God is great and he knows what is in your heart as well as Mr. Shadow’s heart. If it is God’s will that shadowy wine should turn to vinegar, so be it. Your wine will spoil only if God wishes for your wine to spoil.
BZ staffer #1: Shit, deep down I’m a beer guy. I know I’m fucked. I just know it. I just know there’s going to be fucking collateral damage. Fuck man, it’s going to be us smart ass beer drinkers that take the hit along with that Shadow fucker.
FE: My son, I’m a beer drinker and I do not live in fear.
Laundry room vagrant # 2: Shit! We’re fucked and this fat bastard in the robe is too drunk to see it! I’m packing up the van and getting the fuck out!
FE: No, not so!
Loud voice in the crowd: What if the ground opens up a swallows us all?
BZ staffer #1: Jesus man, I never should’ve left fucking Waterford.
Unknown screaming voice: We’re fucked! We're all fucking doomed! Ahhhhh!
-Decanus
