BlueZer0.net

Passing away during this new spring of his seventy second year, the Oracle leaves us knowing too little about him. He was born in October, 1935 as Gabby Whitman and he lived in several different suites over the years at the Chateau Clintonville since the 1960s.

The Fat Kid reporting. . .

Clintonville -- Weeks after Decanus’s abduction by the aliens, little has changed. There have been zero donations to the (Canadian) Dollars for Decanus fund, our total savings remains 25¢ Canadian, and there has been no word from Decanus, other than cryptic messages picked up by the Shadowtronic listening device.

The Shadowtronic device recently said some shit from some scary Tool song or other, and Maynard James Ivory Wayans-Keenan was all whispering and everything.

Not too long after the BlueZer0 staff came to the conclusion that they were "powerless to ransom BZ owner/CEO Decanus from his vicious Biaviian captors," a call for help was made in the form of a text message to the known cell phone numbers of the greater BZ community. Surprisingly there were replies from the long in hiding eco-warrior Davey Lindh.

A faithful reader sent us this email on April 14, 2008 detailing recent alien activity at the Waterford Estates MHC. -BZ

The following is a true and accurate account (subject to occasional alcohol-induced hallucinations) of events occurring on or about March 17, 2008. You may edit for content, quality or convenience, as is deemed fit.

On March 17, 2008, I went to A Piece of Ireland where I met up with my brother and his wife, as well as some of my AOH brothers. I consumed lots of Guinness and enjoyed the traditional music (“American Pie” was a crowd favorite, as was the Metallica cover of “Whiskey in the Jar”). I returned home at an undetermined time, sure only that it was after sunset, and fell out of my SUV. While lying prone on the driveway, I noticed a strange green glow between the trailers to the right of mine. I staggered in that direction and turned the corner facing the Shed of Light between the properties.