First, it was just a little more than a week ago the Fat Kid had asked for and received permission to access and use the Biaviian Anti-Gravity Device for the remainder of the month of July. This seemed, at the time, to be reasonable as the Fat Kid has done research using the device many times before and has always kept it secured while in his care and returned it promptly as promised. However, now, many at BZ are having second thoughts as the device remains unaccounted for along with the Fat Kid.

Second, the last known contact with the Fat Kid was a brief text message to the BZ offices by way of iChat in which he claimed to be very drunk and surrounded by asian couples and fat chicks in an building complex where it seemed both cool and humid. Follow up questions by BZ staff seeking clarification went unanswered.

Third, this vehicle (below) was recorded by the smoking area security camera near the rear entrance of the Fat Kid's chateau only the day before his alcohol inspired text message was received as described above.

Could this vehicle help explain the need of an anti-gravity device by the Fat Kid and his disappearance?

Fourth, several recent attempts to visit with the Fat Kid at his apartment have left myself and others standing at his door as our knocking and doorbell ringing go unanswered. And, from outside, where he has often been seen at his penthouse office window looking down on the commoners of the chateau, only dark windows and what appears to be a very rare hybrid of "tomato" plant (that is likely a gift from Decanus on Biaveh) growing in one of those dark windows.

There you have them, the facts surrounding the missing Fat Kid. The investigation continues.

-Pimples Malone