However, before I release my monograph of the Upper Arlington area and its questionable happenings, it is imperative that the public be made aware of the new space ship ticket design style. Biaviian Slave Holdings LLC, the Biaviian company responsible for both the space ship ticket program and the 2012 rescue itself, has fired its old ticket designer, and hired in his place our own interstellar pal, Decanus.

Biaviian Slave Holdings LLC decided that the old pyramid-ankh-eyeball designs were too repetitive and foreboding, and that the buying public would be happier and more likely to join the Biaviians in their mass exodus in 2012 if the tickets had a softer image. As Decanus told me in the second-to-last email he sent, he is “doing something different, and primal, that goes back to the roots of humanity, really the childhood of humanity, to represent our roots not only to other people of Earth, but to everyone in the universe. These are new symbols that, with just one look, will tell any alien what kinds of beings human beings are.”

In the very last email I received, he told me that what follows is a typical example of his ticket designs, and that in the event that anyone receives an old-style ticket, they should send Riley another $30, because the old pyramid-ankh-eyeball tickets will not be honored at the coming apocalypse.

So, here it is: The Ticket of the (very near) Future.