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A Decanus-Fat Kid Joint. . .

Biaviian Newswire Service:

The political action committee Reptilians For The New World Order released the following statement regarding the US Presidential election.

Buckalew Estate -- With the polls closed and only the faint smell of kaneh-bosm outside the door of the Buckalew 2008 campaign headquarters hinting of any election day activity inside, BZ's Waterford correspondent knocked hoping for a quick comment.

The Shadow reporting. . .

Upper Arlington -- Living as I do, essentially in the woods, the condition of the earth is a thing I can hardly fail to notice. Recently I’ve been noticing very strange things. First, it is slowly getting much colder than it has been over the last few months. Second, all life everywhere is dying. I know, that sucks, right?

The Fat Kid reporting. . .

Upper Arlington -- Just a few minutes after reading The Shadow’s revelatory article, I bolted the door to my apartment, put the shotgun by the door along with the bleach and the eyedropper, and prepared to wait out the first round of craziness. After such a shocking and dead-certain pronouncement of our demise, I expected that there would be general craziness, a mad dash after resources of all types, and especially a rush to the grocery stores to stock up on canned goods (luckily, I have a freezer filled with meat in case the shit comes down, so I didn’t need to go out). I even expected that there would be rioting and looting. Strangely enough, nothing happened.