BlueZer0.net

Since the Third Fictional Reporter and The Fat Kid’s most recent articles, I, that most shadowy of Shadows, have been doing heavy reconnaissance of this area, mostly around the new/old monument at night. However it came much to my surprise – I mean, it wasn’t surprising to me, though I can see how it would surprise other people -– that it was actually during the day that the extra-terrestrial presence made itself known. Two days ago (6/10) at about ten AM, as I was staggering out of Woody’s Bar, I forgot where the bus stop was and accidentally began to wander north, toward the monument, when I saw the much-storied saucer said to hover over the monument even during the day.

The Shadow claims this saucer was drawing energy from Upper Arlington’s new/old monument, which apparently serves as an interplanetary gas station.

Though it quickly took off, heading southeast at speeds too fast to measure, I was able to get a single perfect shot of it with the trusty digicam. While certain fat-ass losers might have lost track of the craft altogether and called it a day, I, on the other hand, have developed sophisticated contacts among the Olentangy River Valley’s most exclusive river-dwelling hobo community, and one such contact told me that he saw the craft coming to rest over the water near the Third Avenue Bridge almost immediately after my 10:00AM sighting. If this is true, the craft traveled three full miles in just seconds – something no man-made craft could do. I mean, a couple probably could, but not just regular ones.

This ghetto-tastic excuse for a Google Earth video, which begins at the site of the monument and ends where the river intersects Third Avenue, shows the flight path of the craft that the drunken Shadow saw and photographed while rhymin’ and stealin’ in a drunken state (and I’ll be rockin’ my rhymes all the way to hell’s gate). According to The Shadow’s homeless source, the saucer hovered over this particular part of the river for over an hour.

The silver saucer, Joe McGucket said, lowered itself down below the level of the Third Avenue bridge so the passing traffic couldn’t see it, and stayed there for more than an hour before it flew off as quickly as it arrived. As we all know, I am a most scrupulous checker of sources, and in this case it seems that my turpentine-huffing friend McGucket may have simply been hallucinating. My next task, then, is to investigate the Third Avenue area, and see whether the craft left any physical evidence behind to corroborate his story. Well, first I’mna get my turpentine-huff on, but after that my next task is to look for physical evidence.

Check back for updates!!!!!!