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More, you know, Things Uncovered in Victorian Village

The Shadow reporting. . .

Victorian Village – This area is mostly known for simple things; its quaint Victorian architecture, its trendy shops and upper-crust restaurants, all the super-hot college pussy it houses for three-quarters of the year. Little did the residents of this expensive, trendy neighborhood realize that they were living on the site of what may be the most important archaeological find of the century.

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The Shadow has found a proliferation of immense stone blocks like this one, some submerged and some partially submerged, in the Olentangy.

After discovering the underwater stone circle, I started an extensive close-to-the-ground (er, water) search in hopes of finding just what was going on here in the Columbus. What I found instead was what had gone on in the city many thousands of years ago. As I drifted along in the pathetic little row boat I stole from some yokel’s back yard, trying to peer below the surface of the mighty Olentangy, I found that I was unable to see, or at least to photograph the stone circle. The circle is so large, and so close to the surface, that it cannot be effectively photographed from the surface of the water – one needs to put a bit of distance between oneself and the circle in order to actually make it out. When I positioned the boat directly in the center of the circle, the stones surrounded me, and I could only photograph them one at a time. And, you know, pics of a single big rock just don’t look cool the way a circle does.

Disappointed in this, and still without the SCUBA equipment necessary for going below and investigating the site of this strange momument, I found myself drifting around more or less aimlessly, looking for something, anything, that might give me a clue as to what was really happening here in the Olentangy River valley. And then I happened to notice yet another rather strange stone structure.

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This mysterious stone block is just one of many in the depths of the mighty Olentangy.

What I saw was an oblong stone block, but this was no primitive megalith like the blocks that formed the stone circle. This was a perfectly rectangular block that observed the proportions of the golden ratio, measuring 8m X 8m X 16m. Equally strange, the mammoth block must have weighed several tons, but it still had finely hewn edges and perfectly flat surfaces. Furthermore, it wasn’t solid – it had two perfectly square holes cut through it at perfectly even distances from the edges of the block, and from each other. This was something different. Something significant.

After spotting this block, I felt like there must have been more than one – a single block of this type makes no sense. And the strange holes in it made me think there must have been some kind of purpose to the blocks that was not easily discernable by looking at just one. I wanted to see if I could find another, perhaps the complement of the first one I had found, so I rowed slowly and methodically, and covered the whole area. Not only did I find another block, I found many other blocks.

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These two blocks were at one time part of the same structure, which now lies in ruins beneath the waves.

Drifting over to the east bank I saw that there was another block that was almost exactly the same, and soon realized that it was just feet from another. One block had obviously fallen from on top of the other, proving they were building blocks for larger structures, rather than free-standing individual pieces. A more thorough investigation showed that these strange blocks are strewn about all up and down the Olentangy, and some of them are actually above water, or only partially submerged.

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This partially submerged block has been damaged by river detritus and the weather.

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This block, located at a particularly difficult-to-reach spot in the river, seems to have been part of a huge structure that was violently destroyed, as witnessed by the surrounding rubble.

Since making these discoveries, I have spent every day on the river investigating, and every night delving into the obscure literature of our field. Though I have as yet reserved judgment, I find that I am continually pulled toward one theory. I have not fully formulated my hypothesis, but as soon as I do, I will UPDATE THIS SITE. Check back soon. And keep the page open for a long time. Longer even than it takes you to read the article. And click the banner ads, too.

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Comments (1)

Pimples Malone:

Are those urine bubbles? Tell me there aren't piss bubbles floating down the mighty Olentangy!

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This page contains a single entry from the blog posted on June 18, 2009 1:36 AM.

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