The Shadow reporting. . .
Victorian Village – Days after talking to super-secret hobo source Joe McGucket about the concurrence of our saucer sightings, and getting all trashed huffing turpentine, and falling down the bank and getting all muddy and shit, and losing my keys in the river, and spending like four hours looking for them but still not finding them, I made some shocking discoveries in the area of the Third Avenue bridge.
The saucer-shaped craft was seen hovering above this underwater stone circle in the Third Avenue area.
As I walked down Third Avenue, contemplating the new/old Upper Arlington monument and the state’s motivation for resurrecting it, I thought the significance of the stone itself might be worth investigating. Immediately after this, I took my first look over the side of the Third Avenue bridge. When I peered over the edge, it took me a moment to get over the dizzying height, but once I felt stable enough, I began to lean over the rail, and scan the riverbanks. Finding nothing, or what I thought was nothing, I was preparing to leave when something caught my eye.
The Third Avenue bridge stands a towering 400 feet (this is an approximate measurement – I didn’t have a tape measure on me or anything) above the mighty Olentangy, so it was somewhat difficult to see, but after a while I was able to discern, and with a very high-powered lens, photograph this megalithic stone circle under the surface of the water.
Another shot of the stone circle, this one showing a nearby stand of bald cypress and other spooky swamp trees and so on.
Though I had not come equipped to rappel down the rocky banks of the river, and did not have the SCUBA gear necessary for diving at the site, I did have a pencil and a receipt for a can of sterno, some sponges, and a bag of Kröger© brand cheese curls in my pocket, so I was able to do some quick calculations. By my estimations, the largest of the megaliths is at least forty feet long and twenty feet high, and there seem to be at least seven, and maybe eight of them altogether. I will spend every semi-sober hour working on this incredible story, and will update again soon!!!!!!!!!!!
So, you know, check back for updates and whatnot.
Comments (2)
Thank GOD someone is doing some real reporting around here.
I'll expect that report on my desk by the end of the week. In an empty liquor bottle if you prefer. That way if it is bunk I can toss it in the sea and leave some poor Japanese fisherman to while away his lonely nights at sea trying to decode it.
Excellent work!
Posted by Patty Hearst | June 15, 2009 8:35 PM
Posted on June 15, 2009 20:35
Did you say CHEESE CURLS? Man, I miss cheese curls...
Posted by London Eye | June 16, 2009 5:58 AM
Posted on June 16, 2009 05:58