The Shadow reporting. . .
Upper Arlington – South of Turtles Be Chillin’ Here Island, the sites we find along the river start to take on a different character than those of the Upper Kingdom. The Upper Kingdom is very much like Clintonville, the neighborhood that is now on the river’s edge in that area, in that it is very boring. Its main site, the Clintonville Steppe, has mainly to do with shipping and commerce, while the Lane Avenue complex is a suburban offshoot that was mainly a housing area for workers. This is the stuff of large-scale civilization, but in a boring way – it concerns the business of running an empire: logistics, transportation, and distribution. The southern area, though, is quite strange.
The Clintonville Steppe, according to The Shadow, is boring.
Olentangea south of Lane Avenue seems almost like a separate society. Just below the Woody Hayes Drive bridge, we find the submerged island of Enano. At first glance, Enano seems to be just a glop of mud, but its covering of grass tells us that it was once above water. Cause grass can’t grow underwater, can it? I don’t think so. Anyway, it was here that I made some of my most productive dives, and was able to uncover much that was hidden.
Diving gear available on the BZ budget of 25¢ Canadian.
First, I was able to see that the island of Enano was once a thriving cultural center that had many theaters and places of worship, very elaborate housing, and large common areas – all things lacking in the Upper Kingdom. Furthermore, there were complex sites the purpose of which was unclear, but which may have been ceremonial sites with architectural significance. Unfortunately, due to budget constraints, I was not able to get a waterproof camera to capture images of these sites, however; it has long been known that the symbolic architecture of the ancient world is often itself a form of code. Check out this video:
If this unduly-enthused freak is correct, and the pyramids were built to store knowledge, and if I am right in assuming that Olentangea was another ancient society fostered and given knowledge by alien visitors, then the ceremonial sites around the island of Enano may be elaborate codes which need to be deciphered before we can understand what went on here. This is a topic that I will follow up in the future.
The Island of Enano as it appears today. The brown furry stuff that coats the submerged part was once grass, apparently. And then way under there is stuff that looks very cool but we don’t know what it is.
A BZ artist’s reconstruction of how the Island of Enano may have appeared around 10,000 BC.
Further south, when we enter the Third Avenue area, we find that there are still stranger sites, and luckily, many of these are still above water. Under the Third Avenue Bridge, we find the remains of the Olentangean quarry, where the Olentageans cut their giant limestone blocks, as well as several islands that are mainly above water, at least when there hasn’t been rain in a while.
The Olentangean quarry, many miles south of the Clintonville Steppe, was the source of stone for that boring and businesslike edifice.
The shitty execution of this poor excuse for graffiti, left near the quarry by ancient Olentangean teens, shows that they were mostly white. Its mauve color and pseudo-punk rock message show that they listened to the Olentangean equivalent of Green Day.
One of the Third Avenutian, or Lower Kingdom, islands that remains above water.
The whole day I spent around Third Avenue was strange, and I felt the kind of anxiety that some alien abductees describe. I was aware that this meant that I was probably being monitored, which left me in a strange position. I couldn’t come back at night because I was stuck working with the primitive technology of non-infrared cameras, so I tried to carry on with as low a profile as I could. This approach seemed to work well enough for a while, but as I got further into the Third Avenue area, I started to find more significant objects than I had seen before, including personal artifacts. That is, objects that had belonged to individuals who lived here 10,000 BC. But I’ll save that for next time.
As I was preparing to make one final dive for the day, I saw what may be the most significant site of the Lower Kingdom of Olentangea, a site I have dubbed Platopunku, which means gate of the saucers.
Platopunku, the site that The Shadow claims is a gateway for flying saucers.
As soon as I saw the gate, which is partly hidden by an undercut section of the riverbank, and which is very near the site where Joe McGucket, professional aluminum can collector and Sterno enthusiast, saw a hovering saucer, the sky started to change, and dark clouds appeared overhead. The aliens would tolerate no more of my curiosity, and I felt that my safety would be compromised unless I left.
NEXT TIME: It’ll actually be funny. I promise. Sort of. Also, insight into the character and habits of the ancient Third Avenutians, deduced by The Shadow based on the personal artifacts he found!!!!! Check back for updates!!!!!!!
