The Shadow reporting. . .
Upper Arlington – After last week’s rainstorm, I managed to sneak out of the posh and pleasant Fat Cave unnoticed by the alien authorities, who must have assumed that their vicious rain attack had subdued me. I felt like I had to return to the crash site ASAP, but it was about a half hour walk, so I borrowed the Fat Cycle. Despite its structural damage, I made my way there, but to no avail – the rain had turned the river an opaque brown that there was no hope of seeing through. Furthermore, the level of the river had risen, and the already turgid Olentangy was running even faster. There was essentially nothing I could do but wait and watch.
The Fat Cycle: Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah FAT MAN!!!!
Afraid to return to my campsite under the Third Avenue Bridge, I spent that night in the woods watching attentively, but to no avail. There was nothing – no movement, no people, no lights. Nothing but traffic, staggering hobos, and once the sun came up, some skinny chicks running. The river conditions were the same, so I slept through the day, right where I was, and awoke that evening hoping that the river had calmed some, but there was no luck.
The black helicopter that chased The Shadow out of the woods.
After a few days, the river did calm down, and the water started to clear, but it was still not quite safe to be in the area. Lingering clouds from the tail end of the storm were still trolling the area every couple of hours, and there were birds everywhere. Things droned on this way for a quite a while, and it was just two days ago that things really started to pick up. First, a truck disguised to look like an ODOT truck showed up. I wouldn’t have thought this strange at all, but then black helicopters started canvassing the area. After I got the above pic, it swung back around to let me know it knew I was there.
This shadow government worker, from the shadow department of shadow transportation, lowered a cable through a hole in the bridge, in order to help raise the craft. (The shadow government is not associated with The Shadow.)
I knew this meant things were bad. I took a look into the river, and noted that for the first time in days, the craft was visible, and it was obvious that was why they were there. They showed up disguised as government workers, in order to camouflage the fact that they were about to load an alien craft into their truck. But there was nothing I could do. Not only was I incapable of fending them off, but even if they left I had no way of recovering the craft, anyway. During my stay at the Fat Cave, the Fat Kid and I had teleconferenced with the BZ offices in hopes of procuring funding to raise the craft and transport it back to the Chateau, but they reminded us that I had previously absorbed our entire budget while renting equipment to explore Ancient Olentangea. So really there was no point to any of this anyway.
I hid in the bushes until the helicopter was gone, and then cycled back to the Fat Cave. I returned to Third Avenue yesterday, finding exactly what I had anticipated – that the craft was long gone, and no trace was left behind. The shadow government has won again. The every man has lost again. But we here at BZ will keep watching the skies, and keep hanging around the new/old Upper Arlington monument, searching for answers.
Plus, one day, I’m going to explain that goddamn stone circle.
