The Fat Kid reporting. . .
Clintonville – When “Big Gunny Wayne” sent his latest big-wordy email (a word of advice: big [and/or misused] words do not equal good writing), Decanus was off on the long and dusty campaign trail, and could not be bothered to answer. However, having arrived back in Ohio, bearing many exclusively Philadelphian treats (do you even know what a Wawa is?), he has taken four minutes to reply. With his thumbs.
Picto '12 issued staff wireless communication apparatus (File Photo)
He has done so, thus:
You again? I’m trying to eat my Iladelph-Style (go Iggles!) convenience-store lunch. All right. Look, dude, I have a thesaurus, too, but it’s on my Mac, which is not in the car with me, so I’mna hafta improvise. So bear with me. I know you conservative types like a lot of high-fructose, partially-hydrogenated attention for your silliness, but I don’t appreciate your riboflavin all up in my Yellow #6, and Red #4. It really messes up my turmeric color and artificial flavors, which affects my flavonoid content in a serious way. If you are dissatisfied in any way with this product, we will replace it or refund your money. Send receipt and proof of purchase to:
Tasty Baking Company
Navy Yard Corporate Center
Three Crescent Drive, Suite 200
Philadelphia, PA 19112
(215) 221-XXXX
Sent from my Vagina Wireless Backblerry.
[Edited for spelling, punctuation, links, and phone numbers by: The Fat Kid, in association with the Decanus for President 2012 Campaign.]
[Picture added by meddlers from the Bluezer0.net Image and Graphics Desk]
