The Fat Kid reporting. . .
New York – Space-Pop Duo Broken Bells, in conjunction with Presidential Candidate Decanus Picto and his backing band, The Biaviians, have announced that there will be not be a co-headlining tour.
Decanus Picto, seen here with one of his touring band members, Tanqueray, will not be touring with Space-Pop Duo, Broken Bells.
The Broken Bells duo, which consists of James Mercer, frontman of awesome-even-though-they’re-really-wussy post-punk/jangle-pop band The Shins, and hazardous rodent/trip hop DJ/producer for like 50 bands, Danger Mouse, released their eponymous debut album in March of this year. Though we here at Bluzer0 like music, we sometimes can’t keep up with all the new releases, so we didn’t find out about that til like last week. But then, as soon as we did, BZ staff contacted Broken Bells, and proposed a co-headlining tour.
The video for Broken Bells’ first single, “The High Road,” is freaking awesome. I mean, I don’t really care about the video, but the song is awesome, isn’t it? The video is sort of creepy and child molesterish, though, until they get to the dancing chick part. But they don’t really seem interested in her, do they? And then there’s the horse part, and the little girl in the road part, and whatever.
Management for Broken Bells released the following statement:
The Broken Bells have never heard of Decanus Picto and the Biaviians, nor have they agreed to do any sort of tour with him, or them, or whatever. Furthermore, nothing like a co-headlining tour has been discussed with anyone. In addition to that, if a journeyman act like Decanus Picto and the Biaviians wanted to tour with Broken Bells, they would not only have to occupy the opening slot, but they’d even have to pay for that privilege, because Danger Mouse and James Mercer are super famous. I mean, they aren’t super famous, but they have their little cults, and even though they’re indie people, they're still money motivated, just like everyone else, and that opening slot is definitely worth something loot-wise. If you do not remove all references to a tour from your website immediately, we will take swift and severe legal action. Also, fuck you.
Decanus Picto has released the following counter statement
I am very proud to announce that I will not be touring with Broken Bells. I’m a huge fan of The Shins, and as for Danger Mouse. . . well, he’s, you know. . . popular with the kids. And he does that Gnarls Barkley thing for some reason. No one can really figure out why, but he does it, so. . . good for him. And he did that Grey Album thing, which. . . I don’t really see how that’s his. I mean, he just took some tracks and mixed them together, and he didn’t create any of them, so. . . I mean, what the fuck is that, anyway? Kids on the internet do that. How does that make an album? And, I mean, how can you sell that when none of the tracks are yours? That’s like making a mix tape, and then trying to sell copies of it, and being all like, well, I put these songs in this order so I should get some loot off this. I mean, what the fuck is that? Anyway, regardless of that, it’s awesome to not be touring with them.
Tickets will not be available anywhere, at any time. Ever.
