BlueZer0.net

Word on the streets in Newark is that The Shadow is not just a fat kid, but in fact The Fat Kid.

University of Delaware senior and philosophy major Mark Sosa claims to have seen him at the Deer Park Tavern getting all messed up on Wild Turkey. “The Fat Kid has incorporated into his being so much organic material that he has literally become a plural organism. There are so many chickens and turkeys and stuff in there that, if they acted on their own wouldn't be able to write so well as The Shadow, but that, acting in unison can in fact write at least that well if not better. It seems to me that different sections of his oneness have branched off, and he has given them names, like The Shadow -- a name elusive, and probably copyrighted, in itself -- that represent pieces of him that are moving in different directions,” Sosa said. “In time, the part of The Fat Kid that is The Shadow may physically break off and become its own living entity the way an earthworm regenerates and becomes two when you cut it in half the right way.”

Sosa’s drunken palaver was dismissed by everyone who is literate, but there are those who claim to have evidence that The Fat Kid and The Shadow are the same fat guy. Bluezer0 owner and CEO Decanus claims that their stories are posted from the same IP address, and that he has had visits from the same guy claiming to be two different people. “Well, he comes here as The Shadow wearing those Charlie Chaplin glasses that come with the nose and moustache attached, and hangs out for like ten minutes, then says he has to go. Then he comes back two seconds later without them and says he’s The Fat Kid. I don’t even ask anymore which he is pretending to be. It's just fucking stupid.”

I, the third and final fictional reporter, have gathered conclusive evidence that they are in fact two different entities. I followed The Fat Kid from his post at [Censored] University and was able to capture the following picture of him.

I caught up with him and was able to ask him a few questions, and he pointed me in the direction of The Shadow’s lair, which is close by and almost identical. I captured the following pic of The Shadow entering his apartment.

So, as you can clearly see, they are two separate entities. This is not a cover up perpetrated by Bluezer0 intended to keep readers on the edge of their seats, nor is it an attempt by that same Fat Kid, writing under the name Third Fictional Reporter, to spill the skinny all over the cat thus shedding the moniker Shadow forever. This is a real story and should be treated as such.