Passing away during this new spring of his seventy second year, the Oracle leaves us knowing too little about him. He was born in October, 1935 as Gabby Whitman and he lived in several different suites over the years at the Chateau Clintonville since the 1960s.
Although his past is mostly a mystery, he will be remembered as a spooky, white t-shirt wearing, walking cane waving figure of the catacombs beneath the Chateau and for two major contributions to his favorite counter-culture news site, BlueZer0.net.
The first of his contributions was a result of the first encounter with the Oracle by any of the BZ staff. Taking place in the chapel/laundry room deep in his beloved catacombs, the Oracle told stories of Clintonville ghosts and Chateau rubbish during an impromptu interview with BZ’s Decanus (currently still held for ransom by vicious Biaviian captors and unaware of the Oracle’s passing).
The second contribution was in the form of a prophecy that proved to be as chilling as it was accurate. How or through what medium the Oracle came to this prophecy no one may ever know. It isn’t believed that the Oracle was a proponent of Ickeian conspiracism, he never mentioned David Icke during his dryer cycle lectures. However he did accurately predict Jared Buckalew’s engagement to marry as well as the pre-wedding discord which he attributed to negative vibrational Lizardry.
His special gift of predicting the laundry schedule of other Chateau residents was remarkable and the possibility of uncovering the secrets behind that gift is now long gone with our departed Oracle of Clorox.
It is requested that all Memorial donations be made to the (Canadian) Dollars for Decanus fund.
-Pimples Malone
