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After I got my booze I chased him down, which wasn’t difficult because he doesn’t move very fast. And though he was greatly dismayed at having been discovered, after having walked several yards from the store he was too tired to turn down my offer of a ride.

The Fatso was very sweaty, and had trouble breathing for a while, but after he recovered, he spun me a tale, which I tape recorded, and will reproduce here verbatim.

FK: Right around the time of my last post, I started to notice weird things in my apartment. Like, I noticed that it sucked. But I also noticed that late at night I could hear people whispering in my living room, but when I went out to check, there was no one there. Then I started to notice that every so often there were subtle signs that someone had been rifling through my files.

The Fat Kid provided me with this picture of his scattered files, which he snapped as evidence that a slob other than himself had been going through his stuff.

FK: I kept trying to catch people at it, but I could never find them. Finally, I got a tip that mysterious figures were getting in the front door of the Chateau without even using the key code. It seems that they could just pull the doors open, and I wondered whether they might be able to do the same with the door to my apartment. But first, I wanted to find out who he/she/it/they was/were, and in order to do that I had to set up a camera at the door. The first night, I was in luck.

Here that fat fuck stopped and showed me what the camera had captured. I was speechless.

This security camera capture was enough to literally send that fat boy packing.

FK: So, after seeing that, I knew that they were targeting me -- I still do not know exactly why, but it seems like they thought I had information they didn’t want leaked -- and that I had to get out of Clintonville. The grays were starting to get their big silvery ships up and running, apparently without the help of the Venutian spotted chicks, because I had seen them several times over the forest across the High Street, and there have been a lot of clouds recently. So, I started packing, and then one day, pretty much in one fell swoop, I emptied the place out, and found new digs here. I got a job at the liquor store, which beats the hell out of cleaning the mouse traps at Subway, and just tried to keep quiet a while. I think they’ve given up looking, but I’m still on them. It turns out that Upper Arlington is just as hot a UFO spot as Clintonville. I’m working on an article to that effect, too.

By this point we had reached The Fat Kid’s new apartment, so I dropped him off. However, The Fat Kid said he plans to resume his duties here at BlueZer0 ASAP, starting with the email received from Decanus, containing Decanus’s Spaceship Ticket design, and updating us on possible alien motives, and his new neighborhood. So, check back for updates!