The Fat Kid reporting. . .
We’ll miss you, Harry.
Harry “the K” Kalas, greatest broadcaster in the history of Illy Philly, died in Washington on Monday (4/13/09) after collapsing in the broadcast booth while preparing to announce a Phillies/Nationals game. He was 73 years old. Harry was the Phillies' play-by-play announcer for 38 years, and during that time he called every single one of Michael Jack Schmidt’s 548 home runs. Phillies fans everywhere (even those of us on the moors of Ohio) will miss Harry. If there was a god, this is where I’d start trying to negotiate a trade: we’ll give you Chris Wheeler, Gary Matthews, and a first-round draft pick to have Harry back. . .
It's always tragic when a super-hot chick. . . gets old.
Also dead is Marilyn Chambers, erstwhile porn star (Behind the Green Door), latter day Broadway bit-part player, and mobile home resident. Her life should be an inspiration to all girls with grabby stepfathers – get into porn. It’ll provide a back door to Broadway success.
Also also dead, is 1976 American League Rookie of the Year, Mark Fidrych. Fidrych appeared in 31 games (completing 24 [!] of them), had an ERA of 2.34, and finished with a 19-9 record in his rookie season with the Detroit Tigers. That's a hell of a line. Unfortunately, his career was cut short by injuries. Fidrych was a quirky guy, who was known to talk to the ball, and pet the pitcher’s mound. He was killed on Monday (4/13/09), when a dump truck fell on him. Maybe he should have tried petting it.
Also also also dead, is feminist and queer theorist Eve Sedgwick (yeah, you get a link for her because a picture isn't going to help), whose book Between Men taught us the difference between gay guys and really good friends. Good thing, too, because otherwise fraternities would be illegal in Texas, Georgia, and the rest of the twangy red states.
Also dead (I'm getting tired of this bit) is 22 year old LA Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart. Adenhart was killed when the vehicle he was in was struck by a drunk driver. Dangerous year to be a ball player.
Peace to all these people.
Check for updates as all your favorites continue to die!
Comments (2)
With these holy scriptures in my right hand, I find words of prayer for their souls and with this calix of wine in my left hand, I quench my thirst for life!
Posted by Father Eugene | April 16, 2009 10:57 AM
Posted on April 16, 2009 10:57
RIP, Harry Kallas. He was the sound of summer, wafting through the screen doors as I walked barefoot along the hot sticky streets of Linwood. *sigh*
Posted by LondonEye | April 16, 2009 11:24 AM
Posted on April 16, 2009 11:24